Sunday, April 21, 2013

Evil Dead

Evil Dead... what can I say about this movie. It seriously pales in comparison to the original, like most remakes do.

Was there a lot of gore? Yes.
Were there a lot of screams? Yes.
Did it have evil things going on? Well, yeah, but there was more stupid things going on than evil.

Warning, this review will contain spoilers, so if you don't mind that... read on. :D

Here's the premise, A group of twenty-somethings go out to a cabin in the woods of all places... have we not learned anything from every horror movie ever made? Anyway, they go out there to the doomed cabin in an attempt to cleanse their friend and one guy's sister from her drug habit. Apparently, Betty Ford or even keeping her at home wasn't an option. They needed this sinister, rundown, remote location to get the job done. Or so says the resident nurse of the bunch. Here's when all goes to hell, so to speak.

Why in all that is unholy did the character with the glasses decide to bring the book, bound in metal wire and black plastic bags, back upstairs after seeing WHAT was in the basement? Dead, decomposing cats hanging from the ceiling and fire markings along a column is a clear indicator to get the F&%K out of town ASAP.

But that never happened. Not only did he bring the book up from the creepy basement, he read from it after ignoring ALL of the many, many warnings scribbled throughout the book. I must stress, that this guy was not under any sort of mystical evil influence, which would have made more sense if he was. Instead, he was just incredibly stupid and leaves you wishing him the worst death of all.

Another thing that kept happening that just made me roll my eyes, why, oh why did everyone go places alone? How many people had to get attacked by the Evil before they realized that going somewhere alone wasn't a good idea. I'll tell you, apparently everyone has to be attacked because no one learned from one person's mistake.

And how dumb was the one character who went into the basement where the crazy, demon girl was, acting like there was just some sort of misunderstanding and all was going to be well, In spite of everything she'd seen prior? Really dumb, I tell you. Down right asinine it was and completely frustrating.

It was just bad people. Even the EVIL was stupid. By the end of the movie, I didn't want anyone to survive.

Grade: F- It's time to have a parent-teacher conference.

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