Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Kiss of the Damned

 Warning this review will contain all kinds of spoilers. But truth be told, it won't matter because this movie is just that craptastic.

Premise: OMG, WTF did I just watch? Is a question I have to ask myself twice. Here's the premise, let me see if I can make sense of it. Guy meets vampire girl, falls in love instantly. They have sex, she turns him and he wants to be turned. All seems fine and dandy until girl's evil sister comes home for a week-long stay until her new house is move-in ready. Evil sister starts killing all sorts of people with no regard and being all kinds of annoying to her "good" sister, who would rather kill bambi than the hunter who shot bambi's mom. So, she has to figure out how to get her evil sister out of her life before she ruins her fantasy reality. 

Review: Now, having said that. this was one of the most dreariest vampire movies I have seen in a long time. And being a vampire connoisseur such as I am, I have a LONG list of shitty vampire movies mixed in there with some really AWESOME ones, so I take my chances whenever I turn on some bloodsucking cinema. 

This movie made me regret wasting time watching it when I could have been writing. The video was dark, the plotting was slow. There were far too many instances where editing was choppy and had you jumping from scene to scene, leaving you a little bit lost. The acting was terrible, the cinematography was amateurish. Even for a low-budget movie, this was below standards. 

Why, oh why do they make vampires drool blood after "feeding"? It's so wasteful. I expect that kind of eating from the Cookie Monster, not beings who thrive on another being's life force and it's supposed to be the end-all, be-all of their own existence. It's a  cheesy tactic to be gory. 

Apart from the sister killing people, there wasn't anything else going on in this movie. Ughhh!

Grade:  F- with an out of school suspension for five days. 

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