Thursday, April 25, 2013

Snow White and the Huntsman

Warning: This review contains spoilers.  Okay, you've been warned. :D

Premise: Snow white must escape the evil clutches of her wicked stepmother, find out who she really is, rally an army that will follow her into battle to defeat her wicked, witchy stepmother and somehow fall in love.


When I first saw the movie poster for this film, it featured hotlicious hunk, Chris Hemsworth and I was on the hook. Then later, I learned that Snow White would be played by Kristen Stewart and my enthusiasm to see this movie flew out of the window faster than a "Supernatural" demon's soul out of opened gates of hell.

Here's why. She can't act, Lord help us, she can't. I am NOT exaggerating when I say she kept the same expression on her face throughout the entire movie. And I don't think she closed her mouth once. She appeared to be under so much stress trying to emote, especially during the scenes where she should have been crying, or showing admiration or love, attraction, etc. Even her (less than) rousing speech to her army lacked in passion and conviction.

 She ruined the movie for me. Charleze Theron's character, her amazing wardrobe, the intriguing little people and looking at Chris H. made the movie bearable.

I also didn't like the forced romance between Snow White and the Huntsman. The chemistry was never there and it seemed to almost come out of nowhere. For most of the movie, you believe that Snow White is supposed to reconnect with the prince from her childhood and that would have made more sense. It was as if the director and writers said, "well, both of these actors are popular right now, let's make them fall in love". without actually building the love between them so that the viewers could watch it blossom. And what kind of ending was that? She didn't even really smile at the Huntsman and isn't he supposed to be the love of her life? You're left with not knowing if he sticks around or hits the road.

Grade: F- See me after class and bring your parents.

True Blood

True Blood - Season One

Warning: This review will contain spoilers so if that's okay with you, please read on.

There are some things I really liked about this season and then there's some things I didn't. I really enjoy the multiple story lines. I love seeing a plot unfold from various point of views instead of just following one person and that person's opinion. I like that the writers decided to breathe new life into characters that were more so supporting cast in the books. Here everyone's the star and that's awesome.

I like the world that both CH and AB created. I enjoy reading about vampires, shifters and other supernatural beings being out in the open, much like the X-men. Don't get me wrong, the shadow supes are fun, too. It's just something exciting about walking into a room where you know you might be among supernatural creatures. Maybe that's just the fiction writer in me. *Giggle*

The character interactions were great and where some actors are concerned, you really feel the chemistry between them and their amazing acting ability almost makes you feel as though you're a fly on the wall watching something real take place as opposed to a TV show.

What I didn't like. I'm not fond of the Sookie character and I've got an issue with writers creating characters that are hypocrites, but rarely or never get called on it. (I had this same issue with Buffy. I felt that she never said what she should have said to people when they were ragging on her, Xander especially.)  I loved when Sam told Sookie off on the dance floor when she continued to berate him for not telling her he was a shifter. That should have happened more often. Like when Sookie, after Bill leaves with Eric, Pam and Chow to go the tribunal, tells Tara, "I don't even know what I'm supposed to be mad at you about".  Why does she feel she needs to be mad at Tara? Her best friend wanted to share some really amazing news with her, and she verbally attacked her first. You'd think Sookie would have at least acknowledged that something wonderful happened to Tara and to share in that for a spell, then tell Tara what was making her upset concerning Bill.

The character of Sookie seemed so flighty. She'd toss her dead Grandma in people's faces when she wanted them to feel sorry for her, but the only thing that seemed to be on her mind was Bill and what he was doing and where he was at, as opposed to worrying about the person trying to kill her. I also didn't like that she would tell people to mind their own business when they'd question her about Bill and her decision to be with him. But at the same time, she wants everyone to accept Bill and them as a couple. She never got called on that. So it left me frustrated as a viewer.

Still I fell in love with this series and I've watched every episode and will post reviews for each season when I can.

Grade: B- I need you to put forth more effort.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

The Thompsons

This was an interesting vampire film, right here. told with a bit of Quentin Tarantino flare and just the right amount of gore... for some, it may be too much. However, I enjoyed my cringe moments. This movie reminds people just how horrible vampires can be. If you enjoyed movies like Near Dark, you'd most likely enjoy this one as well.

Here's the premise: Vampire family and I do mean family, brothers and sister are on the run. Because they made the mistake of killing a bar full of people and getting caught on camera. In this day and age, that's the last thing you want to do. Killing on Camera? Youtube, here we come! But that's not their only problem, you know what? Let me go back a bit. Their little brother was shot by a group of robbers which is what started the killing spree. So , now that I've caught you up, I'll continue.

They are searching for other vampires, perhaps someone out there who can help them save their brother's life. They've been keeping him alive on human blood, but just barely. So one of the brothers, the one telling the story, goes to a town where they're told they can find help. Here's where it gets interesting, they do meet other vampires and that's when all hell breaks loose. It's bastard-ass vampires vs. bastard-ass vampires and what follows is a lot of gore, blood and ass kicking.

It's an indie-film that's made it's mark. My only complaint is I wished they were a bit stronger... supernaturally speaking.

B+ Looking forward to the third movie if there's going to be one. :D

Evil Dead

Evil Dead... what can I say about this movie. It seriously pales in comparison to the original, like most remakes do.

Was there a lot of gore? Yes.
Were there a lot of screams? Yes.
Did it have evil things going on? Well, yeah, but there was more stupid things going on than evil.

Warning, this review will contain spoilers, so if you don't mind that... read on. :D

Here's the premise, A group of twenty-somethings go out to a cabin in the woods of all places... have we not learned anything from every horror movie ever made? Anyway, they go out there to the doomed cabin in an attempt to cleanse their friend and one guy's sister from her drug habit. Apparently, Betty Ford or even keeping her at home wasn't an option. They needed this sinister, rundown, remote location to get the job done. Or so says the resident nurse of the bunch. Here's when all goes to hell, so to speak.

Why in all that is unholy did the character with the glasses decide to bring the book, bound in metal wire and black plastic bags, back upstairs after seeing WHAT was in the basement? Dead, decomposing cats hanging from the ceiling and fire markings along a column is a clear indicator to get the F&%K out of town ASAP.

But that never happened. Not only did he bring the book up from the creepy basement, he read from it after ignoring ALL of the many, many warnings scribbled throughout the book. I must stress, that this guy was not under any sort of mystical evil influence, which would have made more sense if he was. Instead, he was just incredibly stupid and leaves you wishing him the worst death of all.

Another thing that kept happening that just made me roll my eyes, why, oh why did everyone go places alone? How many people had to get attacked by the Evil before they realized that going somewhere alone wasn't a good idea. I'll tell you, apparently everyone has to be attacked because no one learned from one person's mistake.

And how dumb was the one character who went into the basement where the crazy, demon girl was, acting like there was just some sort of misunderstanding and all was going to be well, In spite of everything she'd seen prior? Really dumb, I tell you. Down right asinine it was and completely frustrating.

It was just bad people. Even the EVIL was stupid. By the end of the movie, I didn't want anyone to survive.

Grade: F- It's time to have a parent-teacher conference.