Monday, July 29, 2013

The Wolverine

Warning: This review will contain spoilers, so if you don't want to know certain details about the movie, you may want to read anyway, because if you're like me, I like to get teased a bit. ;)

Premise: The events in this movie take place after X-men 3, so you see a Wolverine suffering the aftereffects of what took place at the final showdown. He's a man on the edge and reliving nightmares every day. He's approached by a young woman who says that an old friend of his, someone who owes their life to Wolverine wants to say his final “goodbye” and requests Logan's presence. Logan goes, because he's honorable like that. The man warns Logan that his granddaughter is in danger and that triggers that soldier/protector vibe inside Logan, rekindling his desire to slice and dice. He'll do whatever it takes to save Mariko (I think that was her name) from whatever threat is out there.

Review: Wolverine is probably my favorite X-Man, I have a few, but he's my top guy. I love his attitude, his swagger, his sexy muscles and his abilities. I was pretty excited to see they were going to give a Wolverine movie another go. Origins wasn't horrible, I enjoyed it, but it could have been so much better. Now, was The Wolverine, the “Wolverine movie fans have been waiting for”, as the TV trailers claim? Well, for me, it wasn't. It was better than the X-men movies and it was better than Origins, but it wasn't the ultimate Wolverine movie. In comparison, it paled horribly to other spring/summer blockbusters like Iron Man 3, Man of Steel and Pacific Rim.

Here's why:

  1. The guilt-ridden, self-loathing bad dreams Logan had over the death of Jean G. Far too many instances of this going on in the film.
  2. There were scenes where they could have added more fight sequences, more action. I can count on one hand the amount of times Logan used his claws to Julienne salad someone. That's not nearly enough slicing and dicing to satisfy this Wolverine fan, I'll tell you that!
  3. The story line dragged a bit.
  4. I also got the vibe that Logan didn't like being a mutant and that's not the Logan I know and love. I guess there was too much angst going on in the movie for my taste regarding my favorite kick-ass X-man.

That fight sequences that were in the movie were well done and I enjoyed seeing Logan do his thing. His signature attitude was there for the most part, especially when having a certain “conversation” with a fellow whose answers had to please Logan, or else.

Overall, it didn't leave me with a feeling of euphoria when the credits started to roll. I wasn't charged in my seat as I watched the action scenes like I was when I was watching Man of Steel and Pacific Rim. The humor was on the mild side, I expected a bit more because Wolverine is one sarcastic dude. I did enjoy it, and I'd most likely will buy the Blu-ray when it hits the stores.

Grade: (B-) I'm going to have to assign you some extra credit courses so that you can catch up with the rest of your peers. (If it weren't for Hugh owning the role and flashing me plenty of skin, this would have been a C+ movie. )

Friday, July 19, 2013

The Heat

Warning: This review will contain some spoilers, oh yes it will.

Premise: Two cops from different fields of law enforcement must put aside their differences to band together to stop a kingpin bad guy from selling drugs, guns and all that shit to people in the community and maybe the suburbs.

Review: *Sucks in breath* Chaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Hmmm, what can I say about this movie that hasn't already been said about Rush Limbaugh? It was loud and obnoxious. But unlike Rush, it was also kind of funny. There were scenes that were severely overacted to the point where the comedy was lost and then there were scenes that had just the right amount of "WTF", to be funny.

This is one of those movies where you just can't suspend your disbelief to enjoy it, you literally have to fire it. I say this because while I was watching it, I kept thinking there is no way in hell these two women would ever be officers of the law, especially McCarthy's character. Some of her insults went a bit too far, were a bit overplayed, if you will. The plot was predictable and a little shallow. Did I truly buy them being BFF towards the end, mmmm, not really, but they're getting there.

Overall, it's a funny film here and there, but nothing to get excited about.

Grade: C-  I'm going to have to assign you to detention for your immature conduct.

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Pacific Rim

Warning: This review is going to contain some spoilers, because I am still geeked about it.

Premise: Aliens have decided that it's time to wreck a little hell on planet Earth and take it over. It's up the the last of the human resistance to make sure they save what's left of humanity from annihilation.

Review: OMG, this movie had me so excited as I sat there with my tasty, unnecessarily expensive ginger ale (at least it was free refills) and overpriced "gourmet" burgers. But enough about my shake down at the cinema, and on to one of the summer's most amazing movies!

Are you looking for action? Hell yeah, you are,  who isn't? Well, I'm here to tell you, there is tons of action in this movie. For every anime fan out there who loves anime shows/movies with huge robots battling monsters, this is also the movie for you.

Oh, and Sons of Anarchy fans will be happy to see both Jax and Clay in the same film. *Giggle*. What I loved about Pacific Rim was the special effects. They didn't look corny or too computerized. You actually felt like what you seeing could be real. The characters were well developed and they had heart. you actually cared when something horrible happened to them. Another thing I liked was that this plot went through a time line from the first alien attack and what was done to counter future attacks. It brought you up to date. So it wasn't like you had to watch them struggle with a plan, then waste action movie time building the machines. You get to jump right into the excitement even before the credits started.

That's how you do it, people.

I thoroughly enjoyed this movie and wouldn't mind seeing it again.

Grade: A+  Look who just made the Dean's list.

Friday, July 12, 2013

Warm Bodies

Warning: This review may contain spoilers. Let's be honest, there's going to be some spoilers in this review. I'm not even going to pretend otherwise. You've been warned. :D

Premise: Hmmm, let me see if I can get it all straight. The world has fallen into a zombie apocalypse and the humans have to struggle to survive. Okay, that's standard when zombies are present. But it's not just Zombies that's a problem, there's monster zombies out there. The zombies that zombies are afraid of. And in the mists of all this zombiefying there's a love blooming between a human girl and a teenage zombie.

Review: I will go on record saying that I will never ever see a zombie as a love interest. I don't care how good looking he is before his flesh rots off his face. No sir, please keep it moving, with your dead, brain-eating ass.

Having said that, I'll say that this movie was luke warm. I haven't read the book, so my opinion is based solely off the movie. I just couldn't buy the possibility of the teenage zombie reverting back to his human self simply because he was falling in love. Question, what turned them all into zombies in the first place? Aren't they dead? They've been killing people and eating brains for how long now, but all of a sudden, they decide it's time to jump back into the land of humanity and all it took was a vision of young love smooching, holding hands and going on joy rides?

These other zombies were ruthless killers, they didn't even have girlfriends interested in them and even they were putting down the brains for a chance at life again. Dead hearts started beating and it begs the question of: Why now? If they could have become human at any time, why even bother going zombie rabid in the first place?

I'm sorry, this movie left too many unanswered questions in favor of mildly entertaining jokes.

Grade: D+ We're going to need to have a parent/teacher conference to discuss your lack of motivation.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

The Purge

Warning this review may contain all kinds of spoilers. Which ones? I can't tell you. I haven't written the review yet. But if you read on and you come across some, you can't blame me... you've been warned. LOL. :D

Premise: To restore peace and tranquility to the world, the government has come up with the ultimate plan. Order will be in place for 364 days out of the year. But one night, for 12 hours straight, crime is legal, so don't even think about calling the police, they ain't coming. As one family had to learn the hard way.

Was this movie predictable? Kind of.
Did I like it? You bet!

I liked the violence that's in this movie. I enjoy Ethan Hawks' character. His children and bumbling wife, on the other hand, they were more than a little annoying. Why are movie kids so stupid? His son lets a stranger, who's being hunted into the house. Apparently, he couldn't just not do anything, so he wanted to save a life.

Question: Why in the hell are you looking at the security cameras in the first place if you know what you see on this night is going to bother you? This ain't your first rodeo kid, better play some video games and act like what's going on outside is a bad dream. I wonder if he's going to do that mess again the next year?

The daughter sneaks her boyfriend inside the house who her parents don't approve of on the ONE night NO ONE should be inside your home other than the ppl who live there. And even then, you're taking a chance. Crime is legal people. So if you have a grudge you've been holding in all year, this is the night to let it out and bash in some heads, slice and dice and implant some bullets. So you can imagine her father and boyfriend's "confrontation" didn't end on a good note.

Now on top of all that, the stranger the son lets in is hiding in the house somewhere and the people who were hunting him are now threatening the family who's "harboring" him. Is it just me, or did the bad guy look like the Joker? Anyway, as you may have guessed from the previews, they get inside the house and all hell breaks loose. I'm not going to say much more than that, because that would be telling.

There was a nice amount of gritty action, a few surprises that I didn't see coming and some satisfying "that's what your ass gets!" moments. All in all, I was pleased with this movie.

Grade:  B Hopefully next semester, you can turn that "B" into an "A" with just a little  more effort.