The Walking Dead

Warning: This review will contain spoilers, sarcasm, and some other stuff, too. I'll try not to give too much away, though.

Premise: Like with any zombie infestation movie, book or anything... shit's f*cked up. People are dying, but they aren't staying dead. They're walking around dragging body parts or shuffling around aimlessly causing all kinds of trouble to the living, just trying to survive. We follow Rick Grimes, mainly as he leads a band of badass survivalist from one location to another looking for something permanent to wait out this apocalypse. On the way, there are trials, deaths and general zombie hijinks, that people ain't got the time for.

My Review: This show is the most boring and convoluted TV series I've ever seen.

HA! See, I warned you there'd be sarcasm... or is that just a lie? Hmmmm, I get back to you on that one.

Anyway, the Walking Dead is by far one of the most awesome TV shows ever made. It's rock solid in character and plot development. From the very first episode, you're captured by the settings and characters personalities. you began to care about them and you cheer them on. They are so well developed with their human flaws, courage and love for one another, they're just so endearing and engaging.

Another thing I love about this show is its unpredictability. You really don't know what's going to happen from one episode to the next. That is remarkable for a TV show, to keep you that much on the edge of your seat that you nearly fall off the chair all together.

Then there's the action. O.M.G., you all know how I feel about great action scenes! If my books can attest to that, I LOVE action!
This show gives it to you in every episode. Intense, "are they going to make it? Please don't let so -and-so die!" kinds of action scenes.
What more can any zombie fan ask for?



This show is the total package, villains that make you wish a zombie would just eat their other eyeball and heroes that make you care. If you're not watching this show yet, it's not too late to start. :D

Grade: A++++++  Now stand up and take a bow, Mr. Class President.

Interview with the Vampire

Oh come on, you all knew this one was coming. LOL!


Warning; Spoilers galore in this one... maybe not. But just in case.

Premise: Vampires trying to find some measure of happiness in their long existence. Companionship, love and passion, this is what they are searching for. Lestat, the brat prince, turns Louis, who becomes one of the world's most depressed vampires and together they try to get along without killing each other. To save his marriage...er I mean bond, Lestat creates Claudia, a child and together they form a family. Of course, when the child Claudia becomes a full fledged adult still stuck in a child's boobless body, she becomes quite cross with her two bloodsucking fathers who mind you happen to have all of their fully developed body parts... even if one vital organ doesn't work anymore. (So sad about that).

My Review: O.M.G. this is by far my favorite vampire movie. This one actually knocked Fright Night (the original) out of it's long running number one spot.

Never before had I seen a vampire movie that was all about the vampires and not some hunter trying to kill them. Nor had I seen a vampire movie where the male vampire wasn't looking for the female of his dreams be them a reincarnation or not. This was original in every way possible. Thank you, Anne Rice for this breath of fresh air. This is why you're one of my inspirations.

These vampires are brutal, they kill within reason, but without remorse. Well, Louis is the exception. He'll kill you, but he'll feel bad about it afterward. And who can complain about a movie full of hunky vampires? And yes, the aroma of homo-eroticism made this vampire movie all the more entertaining to me. Why? Well, before IWTV, vampire movies didn't want to "go there" with the male-on -male lusting/biting  etc.

I've got to tell you, when Tom Cruise bit Brad Pitt's neck and you could see the rapture and ecstasy of his bite in Brad Pitt's expression, I damn near jumped up in the movie theater and cheered. Fortunately,  for all the moviegoers, I was too busy grinning like a Cheshire Cat, so they were spared. It was a bold move for Hollywood and I commend everyone involved in that movie for breaking down that wall and then stepping on the rubble as they walked through.



This movie was realistic as far as what you think some vampires would  do when they're together. How do they adapt with the changing times, can they? What makes them turn a human? These questions were addressed and that was so very interesting. The acting was superb and I know people had complaints about TC as Lestat, but I disagree. He nailed that role. Lestat is an intense character and TC is all about intensity. That hotel scene with the two females was amazing. It was as if they took that scene straight from the book itself. Kirsten Dunst's portrayal of Claudia was not only challenging, but it was spot on. To this day, I think that was her best performance.

This was also  one of the few book to movie adaptations that was damn near like bringing the book to life.

My only complaint was the character of Armand. Antonio Banderas had his personality, but not his appearance. For those of you who may not know, Armand is a vampire forever trapped in the body of a 17 year old boy, courtesy of Marius. Still, it's a small complaint and in the end, I could care less because this movie was awesome!

Grade. A+++++  You've just been bumped to the Head of the Class!

Arrow

Warning:  There will be some point blank spoilers, but I'll try to avoid some targets so that I don't ruin the series for you. (Did you like my half-assed attempt at punning? LOL)

Premise: Billionaire Oliver Queen has just returned back home after being lost at sea for over 5 years. Family and friends are happy to have him back again, but they began to learn he's not the same man they knew who left 5 years ago. There's a darker edge to him and it leaves everyone wondering just what did he go through on that island?  Well, he made a promise to his father who died on the island to right all of his wrongs and he plans on keeping that promise and spilling a lot of blood doing so. 

My Review: First off, let me say this show came on before my beloved Supernatural and I didn't catch on to it right away. As a matter of fact, the season was already 10 episodes in before word of mouth reached my ears and told me to get my head out of my ass and tune in. "OMG, D.N. this show is RIGHT up your alley! You love action, sexy men, ass-kicking and great plots, how are you NOT watching Arrow." (Okay, they didn't put it quite like that, but it's close. LOL)

So I said, "Okay, okay, I'll watch it tonight when it comes on." Boy! Am I happy I did. Arrow is everything  I love in my TV series. Strong characters and world building. Great choreographed fight sequences and action scenes. And above all, logical and intricate storylines. There are times when I think the hero may come off a bit too stubborn to the point of stupidity. I also feel that he's a bit too harsh to those who are risking their lives to help him. What I do like is that they don't have sidekicks that remain silent about their feelings. If he does something that pisses them off, they let him know about it. I respect stories that hold all of their characters accountable for their actions. 

Another thing I love is the fact that he doesn't have an issue with killing the bad guy. This isn't your Smallville Green Arrow, he's a brand new breed the people of Star City need a hero like him. 

Of course, no superhero anything wouldn't be complete without the cliched cop who spends more time and energy trying to track down the "vigilante threat" that's actually helping to save lives, rather than the actual criminals out there who are taking lives. But hey, I guess I can't have it all my way.

I enjoyed season one and I'm looking forward to season two. If you haven't already check out this series, you don't know what you've been missing.

Grade: A - Now I'm going to need you to work on your people skills so you can learn how to play nice with others. 

The Conjuring

Warning: This review will contain some spoilers, but not many, I don't want to ruin it for ya!

Premise: Another horror movie based off a true story where a family is haunted by an evil entity. They need help, people!

My Review: First off, let me just say that I absolutely believe in this type of stuff. I've had my very own ghostly experiences and I believe anyone when they tell me theirs. So you might ask yourself, why a person who believes in demons and ghosts would enjoy seeing a movie about demons and ghosts? Well, hell, I like scary shit. As long as I don't have to see it right in front of me or happening to me. I don't know what to tell ya.

Moving right along. Now, I don't know if it was this movie or the scared shitless person I had sitting next to me, jumping and screaming at every sound, but this movie scared the hell out of me at all the right moments. I loved it! I haven't had a movie creep me out like this one since The Ring and that was only because someone's telephone rang right after the crazy movie reel finished. You can bet your ass I was counting 7 days. It didn't help that at the time the movie was playing, my companion leans over and says, "Should we be watching this film?" I laughed and the movie finish and then the cell phone rung. That's how it happened. But I digress. LOL.

The Conjuring was full of scary sounds that put you right in the mix of the fear the characters were feeling. They gave you glimpses of the threat without over-saturating it. It kept you scared and tense the entire time. It's been a while since Hollywood has been able to pull this off, that's for sure. The story line wasn't completely original, but it was well told. You felt for all of the character involved and you couldn't help but wonder how much was liberties and how much was real. My heart goes out to the family this movie is based off of.

It is well worth the price of a movie ticket to go see this one on the big screen.

Grade: A .  Congratulations on making the Honor Roll.

The Wolverine

Warning: This review will contain spoilers, so if you don't want to know certain details about the movie, you may want to read anyway, because if you're like me, I like to get teased a bit. ;)

Premise: The events in this movie take place after X-men 3, so you see a Wolverine suffering the aftereffects of what took place at the final showdown. He's a man on the edge and reliving nightmares every day. He's approached by a young woman who says that an old friend of his, someone who owes their life to Wolverine wants to say his final “goodbye” and requests Logan's presence. Logan goes, because he's honorable like that. The man warns Logan that his granddaughter is in danger and that triggers that soldier/protector vibe inside Logan, rekindling his desire to slice and dice. He'll do whatever it takes to save Mariko (I think that was her name) from whatever threat is out there.

Review: Wolverine is probably my favorite X-Man, I have a few, but he's my top guy. I love his attitude, his swagger, his sexy muscles and his abilities. I was pretty excited to see they were going to give a Wolverine movie another go. Origins wasn't horrible, I enjoyed it, but it could have been so much better. Now, was The Wolverine, the “Wolverine movie fans have been waiting for”, as the TV trailers claim? Well, for me, it wasn't. It was better than the X-men movies and it was better than Origins, but it wasn't the ultimate Wolverine movie. In comparison, it paled horribly to other spring/summer blockbusters like Iron Man 3, Man of Steel and Pacific Rim.

Here's why:

1. The guilt-ridden, self-loathing bad dreams Logan had over the death of Jean G. Far too many instances of this going on in the film.
2. There were scenes where they could have added more fight sequences, more action. I can count on one hand the amount of times Logan used his claws to Julienne salad someone. That's not nearly enough slicing and dicing to satisfy this Wolverine fan, I'll tell you that!
3. The story line dragged a bit.
4. I also got the vibe that Logan didn't like being a mutant and that's not the Logan I know and love. I guess there was too much angst going on in the movie for my taste regarding my favorite kick-ass X-man.

That fight sequences that were in the movie were well done and I enjoyed seeing Logan do his thing. His signature attitude was there for the most part, especially when having a certain “conversation” with a fellow whose answers had to please Logan, or else.

Overall, it didn't leave me with a feeling of euphoria when the credits started to roll. I wasn't charged in my seat as I watched the action scenes like I was when I was watching Man of Steel and Pacific Rim. The humor was on the mild side, I expected a bit more because Wolverine is one sarcastic dude. I did enjoy it, and I'd most likely will buy the Blu-ray when it hits the stores.

Grade: (B-) I'm going to have to assign you some extra credit courses so that you can catch up with the rest of your peers. (If it weren't for Hugh owning the role and flashing me plenty of skin, this would have been a C+ movie. )

The Heat

Warning: This review will contain some spoilers, oh yes it will.

Premise: Two cops from different fields of law enforcement must put aside their differences to band together to stop a kingpin bad guy from selling drugs, guns and all that shit to people in the community and maybe the suburbs.

Review: *Sucks in breath* Chaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Hmmm, what can I say about this movie that hasn't already been said about Rush Limbaugh? It was loud and obnoxious. But unlike Rush, it was also kind of funny. There were scenes that were severely overacted to the point where the comedy was lost and then there were scenes that had just the right amount of "WTF", to be funny.

This is one of those movies where you just can't suspend your disbelief to enjoy it, you literally have to fire it. I say this because while I was watching it, I kept thinking there is no way in hell these two women would ever be officers of the law, especially McCarthy's character. Some of her insults went a bit too far, were a bit overplayed, if you will. The plot was predictable and a little shallow. Did I truly buy them being BFF towards the end, mmmm, not really, but they're getting there.

Overall, it's a funny film here and there, but nothing to get excited about.

Grade: C-  I'm going to have to assign you to detention for your immature conduct.

Pacific Rim

Warning: This review is going to contain some spoilers, because I am still geeked about it.

Premise: Aliens have decided that it's time to wreck a little hell on planet Earth and take it over. It's up the the last of the human resistance to make sure they save what's left of humanity from annihilation.

Review: OMG, this movie had me so excited as I sat there with my tasty, unnecessarily expensive ginger ale (at least it was free refills) and overpriced "gourmet" burgers. But enough about my shake down at the cinema, and on to one of the summer's most amazing movies!

Are you looking for action? Hell yeah, you are,  who isn't? Well, I'm here to tell you, there is tons of action in this movie. For every anime fan out there who loves anime shows/movies with huge robots battling monsters, this is also the movie for you.

Oh, and Sons of Anarchy fans will be happy to see both Jax and Clay in the same film. *Giggle*. What I loved about Pacific Rim was the special effects. They didn't look corny or too computerized. You actually felt like what you seeing could be real. The characters were well developed and they had heart. you actually cared when something horrible happened to them. Another thing I liked was that this plot went through a time line from the first alien attack and what was done to counter future attacks. It brought you up to date. So it wasn't like you had to watch them struggle with a plan, then waste action movie time building the machines. You get to jump right into the excitement even before the credits started.

That's how you do it, people.

I thoroughly enjoyed this movie and wouldn't mind seeing it again.

Grade: A+  Look who just made the Dean's list.